Member-only story
The “Friendzone” Doesn’t Exist
I don’t believe in the friend zone.
I used to. In high school, I watched my male friends complain about getting rejected by their crushes and then stuck in the friendzone. They made it sound like a literal cage — as if they’d been lured there and locked in. There was no escaping the friendzone for them. It was a lifelong prison sentence.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize is that the friendzone doesn’t exist. It’s not a cage or a trap that anyone has set — it’s just a mindset. More than that, it’s a harmful mindset that can hurt people on both sides of the equation.
If you’ve got feelings, then confess
I’ve noticed a common thread with people who claim they’ve been friendzoned. They complain that they aren’t seen as a viable romantic option — yet they’ve never admitted their feelings.
You can’t get upset that someone doesn’t see you as an option when you’ve never presented yourself as one.
Don’t get me wrong — the fear of rejection can be stifling. It’s more than fear. It’s heart-pounding, stomach-dropping terror. As much as you may want to speak up, nobody likes to be rejected, especially when that rejection could also mean losing a…
