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It’s Our 1-Month Anniversary and Our Love is Going To Last Forever
Don’t forget to like my photo and leave an insincere, congratulatory comment below
To my friends, family, bitter exes, and moderately famous Instagram cats who follow me — I’d like to thank you for joining my boyfriend, Roger, and I on this wondrous occasion.
As you can see from my highly-filtered Instagram post, today is our 1-month anniversary. It feels like only yesterday that I swiped right on Roger, and then invited him over for drinks. Who knew my soulmate’s first words to me would be: you dtf?
From the moment he told me his favorite book was Gone with The Wind and he exclusively shopped at Whole Foods, I knew we were meant to be.
Can’t you tell our love is going to last forever? Our 1-month anniversary photo — the one that so many of you scrolled past without liking (I’m looking at you, Aunt Leslie) — is completely candid.
Well, mostly candid. I actually dragged Roger to the park under the guise that we were having a picnic together, and then insisted we take a photo together to commemorate this occasion. The sandwiches you see in the background are actually plastic.
Unfortunately, Robert is just not as photogenic as I am — his faux smile needs…
