Member-only story
Are You a Good Listener?
You probably think you are. After all, listening is easy, right? As long as you keep nodding, don’t interrupt, and can repeat what the other person said, you’re a good listener…right?
Well, not exactly.
Although most of us would say we’re great listeners (just like we’d say we’re great drivers), we tend to underestimate just how active listening can be. It’s more than just “mmhm-ing” at the right time— it’s really about making the other person feel safe and comfortable. If they can walk away from the conversation feeling even a little bit better than before, you’ve done your job.
If you think about it, you can probably identify the bad listeners in your life. There’s a reason why you choose to confide in some people, but leave others in the dark. Nobody likes talking to the guy who interrupts halfway to lecture you or the girl who’s only interested in talking about herself. It’s easy to recognize bad listeners, but what traits make a good listener?
Researchers Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman of Harvard Business Review sought to answer that question by conducting a study with 3,492 participants. They found that, in order to be a good listener, you need to:
